hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Too much gin, very little bucket
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
