so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
