So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You pole danced in your parka.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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