I skipped work to stalk him.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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