super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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