Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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