is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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