i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
