Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize