Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
