he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
