dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
