Ketchup is God's man juice
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
