Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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