Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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