I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
