i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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