Heybabeimwearingurpanties
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
