Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
