Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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