driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
