Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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