your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
