the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
