So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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