dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
