I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
