Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
a search helicopter?!
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize