just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
