I just pynch a tree in the face
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize