Too much gin, very little bucket
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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