Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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