somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
