and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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