I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
