Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
