In America we eat man semen.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
