I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
