Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
