I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
it's great music for shaving your balls
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
