At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
