this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i was born a porn star she said
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
