If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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