Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
