we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
