it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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