It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
