How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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