Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize