capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
