so explain again why im purple
no
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Life is so much better after having sex.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
