But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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