She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
