Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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