I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
