It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
