I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
