downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You were trust falling into bushes
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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