Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The uberlube is also flammable
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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