I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Two words: blizzard sex
I think people are normalizing furries
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
