youre lurking in front of me
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
