Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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