just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I wish you could order shots online.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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