I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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