no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
